Friday, April 9, 2010

Listen to me, I'm on Stereo!- J Lee's Wonderful Horrible Life. pt 7



Jason follows Daniel to the back of shipping and receiving, away from the warehouse workers.

"Can you tell me what in the name of Fausto is this?!!" says Daniel, standing next to five giant pallet-ed crates.

Jason lifts the lid and pushes away the frizzy cardboard packing filler strips.

"Oh, it's my Skatemental guest cruiser deck!" says Jason optimistically, futility hoping his response would pacify Castillo.

"Oh, It's your guest deck all right. Guess how many are in this crate."

"One hundred? Two hundred?"

"Try five hundred."


"Can you guess whats in the other four crates?"

"More Sk8Mental decks?"

"Two thousand more of your guest models!!!!"

"What? Are you sure? Did you count them? Are you sure they're all mine?"

"I'm over at the dock looking at the packing slip and I see that it says someone had ordered 2,500 Jason Lee Limited Edition Cruiser decks!!!!!!"

"Well that's not good." says Jason with a concerned tone in his voice.

"Have you finally lost your freaking mind?!! I took one look at this and knew it had to be you. What in the heck is going on Jason?!!!"

"Geeze, Daniel I don't know man. I mean there must have been a typo or something when they filled out the order form to the wood shop."

"You mean when you filled out the order form. You filled out the order form! What were you thinking? What are you trying to do!!?"

"Ok, look Daniel. I'm gonna come clean with you. Only because you're probably one of the only people I trust around here."

"Cut out the B.S.! What am I gonna do with 2,500 surplus Jason Lee limited edition decks that you couldn't pay someone to skate."

"People like my deck! It's practically a collectors item for Christsakes!"

"They're gonna be collector's items all right! There gonna be known as the decks you ordered to deliberately put Skatemental out of business! This is 50,000 dollars worth of revenue for our company! Eventually they're gonna have to see this money to be able to order new product!"


Theres a long pause of silence.

"Are you sure they're all my decks. Maybe it's just a typo on the woodshop's end?"

"Just tell me Jason. I really want to know. What on earth possessed you to do this?"

"Man, I don't know. I just get bored sometimes working behind a desk ya know? I'm on the phone with shop owners all day and I just get tired of trying to convince them to buy Reese Forbes models. Just though it would be fun to sell a couple extra decks on the DL, for the fans- ya know?"

"A couple of extra decks!!!"

"Well, I didn't deliberately order that many decks on purpose!! I don't know. I must have f-ed up or something when I was filling out the form. I must have put a comma in the wrong spot or something".


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Houston, Texas
Be kind, because everyone you'll ever meet is fighting a hard battle.