Monday, April 12, 2010

Listen to me, I'm on Stereo- J Lee's Wonderful, Horrible Life pt 8


For anyone seeing five crates containing their pro model sk8 decks, the sight would be reassuring- even exhilarating. But for Jason they stood as reminders- a tableau of his professional incompetency. As Jason was clenching his hands around one of the 2,500 limited edition Jason Lee guest models that he accidentally over ordered behind his company's back - he could feel it all slipping away. Now even his meager sales job was in jeopardy- he knew if Reese found out about this major oversight, Jason would be kickflipped out the door faster than you could say Ryan Fabry.

"What are we gonna do!! What are we gonna do!" said Jason in a heightened state on panic.

"What do you mean we? I've got nothing to do with this!" said Daniel Castillo.

"Come on Daniel, you gotta help me out here. I'm in a bind!"

"What can you do? It's not like you can send them back to the manufacturer! These decks are useless, no one skates these old shapes anyways!"

"I need time to think of something."

"Well, I can't rotate these crates around the warehouse forever, eventually the workers will get suspicious."

"Thats it. I'm finished! I am so screwed!"

Without warning Brad Staba comes walking out from behind one of the racks, in his usual state . Hes still wearing his pajamas, a terry cloth robe, and house slippers and has a couple of decks under his arm.

"Heeeeeeeeeey guys!" says Brad in his overly tranquilized state.

"Hey Brad!" Jason and Daniel say in friendly unison, as if it was a normal day in the warehouse.

"What cha guys got there?" says Brad in his voice that sounds half like the Mark Gonzales and half Like Andy Warhol.

"Oh nothing, just my limited edition guest deck." says Jason as he hands it over to Brad.

"Fantastic!" says Brad holding the deck side ways, putting his face right up, intently studying the layers of stacked plys.

"Maybe one day all skateboards will be like this again! Well, wouldn't that just be delightful?"

"Yeah that would be really nice. Don't you think that will be nice, Daniel." says Jason as he hits Daniel on the shoulder nuggingly.

"Yeah. No,Yeah. That would be really nice!"

Brad stands, staring at the air in front of his face in a daze, while Jason and Daniel look at each other for ideas.

"Well, keep up the good work! You guys are doing a great job. Okay!?" says Brad finally.

"NO problem Brad." says Jason.

More punctuated silence as Brad continues dazed, staring at more air in front of his face.

"Hey Brad?" asks Jason.

"Yesss Jaysssson."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm jussssst fine. Thanks for asking!"

Brad continues standing in front of Jason and Daniel until finally he breaks the silence:

"Well, I'm gonna go buy a toaster. Do you need a toaster Jason?"

"No, I don't. I actually got one at home. Thanks though."

"Aneeeytime! What about you Daniel? Do you want me to get you a toaster Daniel?"

"No, I'm cool. I think I got one at home."

"Well, I'm gonna go get a toaster. You guys should come by my house, so we can have toast. Do you guys like to have toast?"

"We love to have toast, right Daniel." says Jason.

"No, yeah toast." says Daniel.

Brad Turns around and shuffles his slippers on the ground as he walks away- the sound of hard plastic rubbing up against the concrete.

Daniel continues after Brad is out of earsight:

"Listen I can let these crates float around the warehouse for a little bit. But you need to think of something within the next couple of days- you need to think of something quick."


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Houston, Texas
Be kind, because everyone you'll ever meet is fighting a hard battle.