Friday, May 21, 2010

Instincts that Were Dangerously Deceptive


By the time Jay got out of the Station Wagon, he felt nearly omnipotent. Standing up abruptly and realizing that he had to walk through the parking lot with Sigourney only made him more self conscious of how wired he was.

At that very moment Jay suddenly thought about the painting of the turquoise Airwalk Prototye on the opening credits of "Saved by the Bell."- the shoe that flashed on the screen along with other teen paraphernalia indicative of that era. He hadn't seen the show in over a decade and it was peculiar that now he would randomly think about such a minute detail- it was as if the cocaine along with the anticipation of being in the presence with Sigourney fired synapses that connected lost forgotten memory details were stored in him - details from before he loss of his innocence.

Jason secretly or maybe not so secretly basked in the formality of escorting Sigourney through the lot- it automatically felt good to be seen in public with her.

Sigounrney's high heels clumped against the pavement in overly dramatic fashion, her elbows against her sides- with her hands floating flush with her shoulders.

Sigourney may have been a bit overdressed for SHADE, but Jason thought she still looked pretty good, she a stark contrast to the other locals who rode their bicycles to the bar. If Sigourney hadn't been in such a festive mood- in such good spirits, it would have been more apparent that she was indeed out of place, as if she seemed more suited for the type of bar Jay didn't go to- the type of bar beyond Jay's means (The bar at the W, the bar at Dorsia, the bar at Hotel St Cecilia).

When Jason and Sigourney got inside it was unsurprising to both of them when they found Monty and Viv gone.

Sigourney was holding Jason's cigarettes, suggestively- letting Jason automatically pretend to himself that they weren't just his- that they were in fact both his and Sigourney's cigarettes.

"Do you want to have a drink here and then go somewhere after this" asked Sigourney while she nervously clicked the nails of her thumb and forefinger - her one hand still dangeling in the air.

"Sure." said Jason simply, barely able to contain himself.

Everything to Jason seemed amplified. If reality was an Orange amp it would have been turned up to eleven. But being as coked up as he was made the night seem filled with unlimited possibility. He could feel it in his belly and crotch. He could feel his hard on extent into his chest. A hard on that was more a byproduct of excitement than horniness (even though Jason was still horny).

The cocaine gave Jason instincts that were dangerously deceptive.

Sigourney was in a good mood as well. She excused herself to the bathroom and asked Jason to order her another Cosmo as he reluctantly sat down by himself at the bar.

Jason impatiently waited for Sigourney to get back- it was hard to keep cool in the limbo time without her. Even though Sigourney was in the bathroom, Jason felt like he was still being watched and appraised.

The bartender slunk towards Jason.

"What you need, pal?"said the Bratender in a tone that Jason couldn't distinguish between over friendliness or condescension.

"Get me a cosmo with extra Vodka, a gin neat and a pack of condoms".


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Houston, Texas
Be kind, because everyone you'll ever meet is fighting a hard battle.