Monday, February 7, 2011

What Does this Have to Do with you Always Showing up High to Work?

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From the background of Cory's cubicle, Jason could hear some heroic sounding punk song sung in English. The singer sounded German; J didn't know who it was. He guessed to himself, maybe it was Dungen but he was probably wrong. He always picked Dungen because he didn't know better. "Music lyrics just sound better in English"- thought Jay, even though he felt the song was still nearly unlistenable.



J- concentrating on the chorus as Meagan looked down at the thin carpet. Meagan lingering, continuing to say nothing- nothing though she still had a lot that still needed to be addressed. But now, sitting in Jason's cubicle, which looked like it was decorated by someone who thought of Kelly Bird way too much, didn't quite know where to even begin so she just sat and watched Jay in fake nonchalance as he rifled through his jacket pockets.




Meagan, exactly half nervous and half over relaxed, with her clip board on her lap - notes covered over with colorful transparencies- perhaps blocks of data that would somehow be able to save Skatemental from the giant shit storm they were about to unleash on themselves and their loyal consumers. Glasses framing Meagan's eyes- giving off an automatic air of responsibility-- was a sight cancelled out now by Jay finally finding the vial, clinching it in the palm of his hand, then pouring the rest of the contents on top of the glossy Dwindle catalog that un-ominously sat on his desk.


Jason grabbed onto the magazine like it was a Taco wrapper.



"I'm waiting here for you! I'm here for you! I'm waiting to love you!! I'm true to you! I'm always true to you! ", belted the singer coming from out the adjacent office space. Cory next door, probably not been getting many cold calls done.



The futility of the singer's proclamation took on more of an immediacy now to Jason because of how he felt at the moment. Signorney last night had been a total fucking bitch - she was way too much for Jason to handle. When he though of her again the terror hit his stomach like a wave of bad valences ; he thought again when she grabbed Valentino's crotch on the dance floor , after J had spent nearly an hour transporting her to the TöC Bar .



During other times this imposing song playing in the office would not have been even much thought about, it would have been dismissed as another way too late in the game effort to try to make another band sound like Social Distortion. But now in his office, Jason was forced to linger on the song's absurdities- the naivete of all the lyrics. Jason thought, that if for some reason the song would have been an actual deliberate message to a real oxygen eating woman - he figured that these lines were most likely lost on nonexistent ears. And maybe even if this hypothetical woman had even heard it, it probably was only like once because she could have been coerced to listen to the demo.



"I'm not gonna let you! I'm never gonna let you! I'm never never gonna let you go!"sang the singer against the pentatonic crotch, words fumbling through the tops of the air of Skatemental office space- raining down on Meagan and Jason,like poison snow.



Jay reached for the back pocket of the Fresh Jive prototypes that looked fashioned from Donna Karen, took out his credit card- threw his wallet onto the desk and started cutting what was left of the cocaine on top of an image of Marc Johnson in his alien baby phase- Marc Johnson staring smugly into the camera- Marc Johnson in his over thought out peeping Tom Penny outfit.


Meagan crushing ice in her mouth while Jason concentrated on the drugs: " You know Reese was talking about you earlier , making so many Dam threats that by some point he may have to do something and I just don't want to see you caught in between the cross hairs!"


Jason continued to cut the cocaine on the image of Marc Johnson's bare pale chest- a photo of a chest so pale he had a bit of a hard time distinguishing the cocaine from the photo.


Meagan, frustrated that Jason was paying more attention to the dust- even though for him it was an act- something to punctuate the awkward office conversation. " Look we all have to work here too ,ya know? I'm tired of feeling sorry for you. Were all trying to move madd prob- but you just sit here looking at back issues of Atlantic monthly, harping on the 'good old days' - how you're just a victim of the industry!"


Jason took the rolled up Euro, blocked off a nostril and hoovered the line in one swift, efficient stroke.


Jason looked up and pointed his head towards the top of the ceiling, fluctuating snorts: "You know when I was thirteen I made my own bridge bolts out of bondo and metal scraps that I found from my garage.... sold them in Venice?"


Jay going back to cutting the cocaine, looking down like he's explaining himself in a tone that required dire acceptance "I bet you didn't know that Meg , huh ? Did you now?!"



"So! What does that have to do with anything" vollied back Meagan as she put another ice cube in her mouth from out the cup.


"So?!! SO!??? Those were my bridge bolts! That was my invention, ya know! Like, I invented them! That was my idea, because I always hated having to keep track of the screw driver! Bridge bolts were for people who said 'Fuck a Philips!'" retorted Jason cutting the cocaine faster now because he was getting worked up.


"Well what happened then? What does this have to do with you always showing up high to work!??"

J took out a mirror from his drawer- checking his nose for dust. " I would steal screws from the hardware stores. I would have to skate all over to different hardware stores around the city and pocket bolts so I could turn them into bridge bolts, even made some like cellophane packaging to sell them in. And when I sold them I saved everything I made, so I could eventually buy some decks. Well then do you know what eventually happened?"


"No Jason, I have no idea what happened. What happened?" asked Meagan exhausted.


"Donnald Cassel saw what I was doing and stole my shit! He was already making his Grindking trucks and even getting into bearings. He was older and had more money and before I knew it, he had his Brigebolts in every surf and sport shope on the boardwalk!"


"okay?.............."


"Well guess what? Guess what I did! " said Jason, being overly dramatic, continuing to hype up his story.


"What did you do Jason, I really want to know this right now. What did you do after your Bridgebolt idea was stolen from you?


"Uh... nothing" said Jason casually, down playing the whole story "I probably got bummed on the bolts and eventually forgot about it, waited to hit my growth spurt- eventually got better at skating, I guess." Jason smiled at Meagan now talking with a friendly tone in his voice:" Hey Meg, do you wanna see a trick Rocco showed me? You wanna see this Schmitt Stix rail disappear from my desk?"



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Houston, Texas
Be kind, because everyone you'll ever meet is fighting a hard battle.