Thursday, February 10, 2011

All that Memorabilia that Jay Just Still Hadn't Gotten Around to Putting Up


J stokes his hair back with the same hand that's also holding his credit card- card lodged between pinkie and forefinger. Jay continued with slight excitement "- we just wanted a cheap way to print those photos onto the decks,that's all. And there were a bunch of weird shots we ended up taking too! Just transferred them onto these thin transparent layers of silicone nitrate! Didn't even think about how that same transparent layer would also be good for doing deck slides. Just wanted the boards to look cool, ya know?"

Jay focused on the last small white dune on the brochure:

"We made those Schmitt Stickz disappear faster than you can say Rip Grip." J then putting his face up close, pausing in contemplation while staring off in the distance, then abruptly inhaling the last of the dust with a slurp easily heard throughout out the entire cubicle village.

"Actually, If I remember correctly it was Rick Novak who first invented the Everslick" Larry interrupting, now also standing next to Reese in the doorway of Jay's tired cubicle. Larry acting deliberately to appear not deliberate, trying to punctuate the airspace perfectly. Now, not much taking J by surprise, even though a casual tone in his voice still hinted that he thought he had the one up on J.

Jay looked up and couldn't remember when he finished a line with such perfect timing.
J, slunk back into his seat, with authoritative swagger, cocking his head back, looked up at the drop ceiling- obnoxiously fluctuating snorts: "Oh hey Larry! Me n' Meagan were just talking about- we'll you obviously know what were talking about. We were talking about rails!" - now speaking incredulously as if Larry and Reese were younger step siblings.

Larry and Reese stepped into Jay's cubicle, which now seemed even more claustrophobic than usual. Larry looking around at the memorabilia inside: Jay's framed Rare sticker collection humbly hanging on the carpeted wall, J's maple mint condition Alva cruiser deck -still in it's translucent deck bag- signed by Tony Alva which was lain on a shelf behind where Jay sat, a shelf which also held some fake cereal box that for some reason had an autographed photo of Tim Gavin on the front, there was also the impossibly small wheel mobile hanging from the drop ceiling near the corner, there was all the superfluous Skatemental prod on the floor, those horrible riser pads that looked like fake vomit were splayed all over J's credenza, and there was also that old picture of Jason and Heather smiling, posing at Bennihannas which was still placed at the front of the desk- the photo an indicator of better times- all that memorabilia that Jay just still hadn't gotten around to putting up.

The gin and cocaine taking more forceful control over Jason- sending a second wind that blew through him, a wind that competed against the immediacy of the all too sudden competitive dynamic that took over the small cubicle space. Jay responds back abruptly, "No, you're wrong, ya see, Rick Novak was the first to advertise it, but me and Rocco had been selling Everslicks with photos of half naked teenage girls for months before that Tom Knox Santa Cruz generic logo graphic hit the presses." Jason now motioning into the air futilely, at nothing in particular, yet motioning for the effect of portraying mild condescension.

Jason, un-inconspicuously flecking the remaining white specs off the brochure as
Reese buts in: "Look, Lair and I just want to make sure things around here are gonna happen more um, more efficiently from now on, that's all. Right?" says Reese solemnly- sounding like a sober voice of reason, as if he was participating in some sort of intervention.

Reese, looking back at Larry apprehensively and continues lightly -"Jay, Listen. You just need to know and realize that it should be explicit that the head sales rep make sure for now on that the new news and information that we publish in is integrated into your conversation with the retailers and not lost somewhere inside this desk. And that's what I'm talking about!"

Reese points at the flecks still sitting on the credenza and continues in protest, trying to make a point:"There's no point in us doing all this work if it's not even used in your pitch. And you know that as senior sales rep, we think it's important...".

Reese pauses,looks at Larry for effect as if he was confirming something they had previously talked about and continues "... is mandatory that you set an example for the rest of the sales crew so we can really get some of our plans into action!"

Larry as bad cop, puffing through his nose and standing uncomfortably close to where Banjo is napping on the floor interrupts :" You need to know one thing, Jason. There's a lot of things I don't like in my businesses and the main thing I can't or won't tolerate is dead weight."

Reese continues so no time to the beat is lost: "We need to make sure the sales team knows this and does it. And maybe me and Lair have come to screen some of your, um sales calls? You, know just to like make sure no bolts are left loose- make sure we are all on the same page? okay? So theres no misunderstanding? Do you understand where I'm going with this?"

Jason, feed on the sudden adversity with an instant jolt- his mind was racing. He thought about the one card he still had - it was the one flimsy last piece of street cred J could display to Reese, Meagan and Laird and now seemed like no better a time to demo it out.

"Oh, by all means! Watch ME make a sales call?" Jay leaned forward importantly, waved his hand out at such a seemingly poposterous request "Is that it?" Reese That's it then, that's all you had to say- you wanna watch me on the phone!!? Do you!!? Then watch me on the phone ,okay!? No, were gonna make a phone call, yeah-" said Jay as he opened up the right side drawer, opened the small translucent plastic container store box and took out a business card that was printed on an egg shell colored composite fabric/ paper pulp.

Jason picked up the phone and dialed the number from his translucent landline phone that you could see the insides of, dialed off the card and handed it over to Larry as Meagan sat silently with her forehead against her fingers: "I got something for you to screen right here Lair, take notes because I'm not going through this a second time."

Larry looked at the card and then handed it to Reese, "Supreme." Said Larry, dully.

Jason replied back to Lair "You might want to read the picturesque novel The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow. The epiphany at the end, as I recall, is that we shouldn't be seeking harrowing challenges, but rather tasks we find natural and interesting, tasks we were apparently born to perform."

Jason settled into the back of his chair, hoping that his contact would be on the other end. J sees an opening- maybe an opportunity- a quick idea about what to do with all those extra Jay Lee comemorative Ziggy Stardust cruiser decks that he may have accidentally ordered behind Skatemental's back. The line answers on the other side - J continues:"Hey,who's this? Max? I don't know Max. I need to speak with Jav. Is Jav there? He's busy!?? No, well just put him on the phone!"- Jason smiling back at Larry and Reese while he waits on hold.

Jason sits up a bit to gain his composure "Jav- what tha Don- Dill!?? Yeah man, been doing well, just chillin . Oh yeah, no no no. You know that's never gonna happen! I guarantee! Never. No. What do you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok, well look - some shit is about to hit and I got an opportunity to move some prob. No, Im' not trying to talk about the cruiser decks! No look ,Brandon Turners about to come out of the closet and theyre gonna make a new deal about it. Yeah, yeah we all knew - anyways pretty much- theyre gonna be talking about this for a minute. No, look so anyways, I wanted you to be the first one I call to take a look at those 'unlimited- limited edition' decks they're gonna put out. The Skatemental/Lil B coming out of the closet deck! Yeah, I'm serious! No- yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be so stupid! Think it could be a collector's item- like an old World deck, ya know? No, I promise can be instant collectors item! You move them to Japan and I say it could do well. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we can have them start at like three fifty. Cost. Well he's gonna have an interview in Transworld soon and a like three page ad to go with it. Drop it at the same time so theres gonna be some buzz? No. No. Well, weather or not he pulls it off- collector heads are gonna be interested by then. Flip um and theres a lot more where that came from. So,just you know. Yeah- like I said- 'unlimited-limited edition'. No it will be weird, like Kool Keith meets Jeff Koons or somethin. No, yeah ,yeah- it could be cool either way. I'm telling you if the public reacts the way I think they will, this will be like were printing the Cream, niggah!. Yeah, man. OK. OK. OK. Yeah, no that's fine. Look when I get more to show you. No. No. Ok, cool man. I'll hit you up later Jav, we'll go get drinks. Allright? Allright? Real man. Ok. Peaaaaaaace!"


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Houston, Texas
Be kind, because everyone you'll ever meet is fighting a hard battle.